Back To Community

What happen to our Black Wall Street mentality (Tulsa Oklahoma 1921)? What happen to our Rosewood (Central Florida 1923) way of thinking? What happen to the African American community depending on one another for survival? What happen to us knowing that if we stand with our fellow brother and sister we can defeat all the opposition that comes our way?

At what point will we realize that it will take us unifying and pooling our resources and money together to be a force to be reckoned with. The time for the individualistic way of thinking is over; it has proved detrimental to our race. There is POWER in numbers, we have done it before and we can do it again.

Since the murder of Trayvon Martin (Feb. 2012)…….and I’ll go as far back as the murder of Sean Bell (Nov. 2006) the African American man has been under attack; and I would dare to ask when did the African American man stop being under attack? We have marched, we have so called ourselves boycotting and we have rant and raved on social media and there has been no change. Matter of fact it seems to have gotten worse. Police are killing our men, women and children with impunity and it will continue to happen unless we, African Americans put our money where our month is and come together. We can complain all we want, the system is not hearing us but they will hear us when we stop depending on them, when we stop begging for jobs, when we stop being selfish with one another……you know that whole crabs in a barrel mentality (urban dictionary definition: A syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead. Often this is applied to people in an impoverished community where one person is starting to get ahead. The collective community becomes jealous or filled with a sense of self-loathing, so they find a way to pull that person back down to the community's level).

When we become a threat to the establishment then and only then will we be heard, that’s when we’ll be taken seriously.

We have proven that we are capable of building a nation, our ancestors proved that. We have built communities and they have been successful and they prospered. What is keeping us from doing it again? Are we that jealous of our brothers and sisters that we can’t come together to defeat the system that is trying to destroy us? Do we not trust our brother to do the right thing? Have we gotten so full of ourselves with our six figure jobs, our degrees and our place at the upper management table that we have forgotten that we aren’t really a threat? Sure we take home our nice salaries, we have beautiful homes and cars and some of us our entrepreneurs, but are we assisting our fellow brother in getting up that ladder as well? Regardless of the gap in social or economic standing, because as we all know you give a black person $5 and they think they’ve arrived, looking down on others that don’t have as much or don’t look a certain way, but I digress on that one. These are questions that I would love answers too……because sadly if we don’t take action like RIGHT NOW, we will cease to exist in the next 50 or so years.

It is pass time for us to put down our thinking that we can do it all by ourselves and start coming together to build up our communities. So that we can have a seat at the table, a voice in what happens to us, to what happens in our community. Otherwise we will continue to be the second class citizen that’s content with what we’re given and content with the treatment that we’ve been shown.  

We are better than that, we deserve better and it’s time for us to act like it.

Teens and Promiscuity

June 24, 2016

Why are our girls promiscuous? Is this a behavior that they’ve chosen or was this risky behavior thrust on them through unfortunate circumstances?
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, 36.9 percent of 14-year-olds have had sex - more than one out of three.

Other studies show that one out of every three girls has had sex by age 16, and two of three boys have had sex by age 18.

How and why did their risky sexual start?

Do they have parents involved in their lives? Our their fathers involved……because as we all know fathers are the first relationship a girl has with the opposite sex; that relationship or lack thereof usually determines what type of man a girl will choose. Have they been molested or raped in their young lives then went on to suffer from depression or anxiety; If so did they also turn to alcohol and drug use to dull the pain?

The above behaviors are reminiscent of a hurt girl acting out looking for attention in all the wrong places.

I often hear people bashing these young girls because of their behavior but I wonder have they also considered what has happen to these girls to lead them down this road of promiscuity. I find that we judge way too often as if this couldn’t have happen to us. And if we do a little retrospective thinking we would find that we have had some of the same issues that these girls are having but through the grace of God we were able to take a different path.

I have found through talking with other women that we all have suffered some unfortunate event in our lives that has led to some risky behavior in our past. Some rape, some molestation, peer pressure and even seeking attention due to we weren’t getting it at home………whether that be because our parents were too busy for us or not having a male figure in the home to show us how we’re supposed to be treated by the opposite sex. Whatever the case, we all have been there.

Instead of judging our teens we need to reassure them that they are not alone and there is a better way to cope with whatever issue that they’re going through that is leading them down this destructive and dangerous road.

Outside of one of the biggest misconception that sex equals love, other huge risks are unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and low self-esteem. While most teens are aware of the risk of pregnancy, few understand that that many STD’s today have no treatment i.e herpes and HIV. Viruses such as HPV (human papilloma virus) and HIV can be transmitted sexually and cause problems including cervical cancer and AIDS.

It’s time for us to stop judging and start giving our girls the tools and information they need to cope with life and make better decisions regarding their personal health. We cannot continue to have broken girls grow to be broken women. We have to break the cycle of family secrets which make girls afraid to speak out about rape and molestation by the hands of fathers, uncles and cousins.

We have to show our girls that we are open and willing to listen with a sincere heart and understanding when they want to come to us and talk freely about what they are going through doing these critical times of their life.

We have got to do better……..and we will.

Teens and Safe Sex

June 15, 2016

It would be naïve of us to think that our teens are not engaged in sexual intercourse.
The definition of safe sex is: having sexual contact while protecting yourself and your sexual partner against sexually transmissible diseases (STDs) and unplanned pregnancy. Sexual contact that doesn’t involve the exchange of semen, vaginal fluids or blood between partners is considered to be safe sex.

While we wish that our teens would wait until married to have sex, that is not realistic. So in order to keep them safe from STD's and unwanted pregnancies we need to give them the necessary tools to make good decisions regarding sex.

If safe sex is not practiced, teens need to know that they can be at risk to get one of the following STD's: chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV or hepatitis B, or may result in an unplanned pregnancy.
Condoms offer the best available protection against STDs by acting as a physical barrier to prevent the exchange of semen, vaginal fluids or blood between partners. Safe sex is also called ‘safer sex’ to highlight the fact that condoms and other barrier methods are not 100% effective in preventing STDs.

However, condoms do offer the best available protection when used correctly.

It is also important to inform our teens that condoms aren't 100% effective; even when used correctly.

Here are some things to keep in mind when talking to your teen about safe sex and condom use.

• Sex using a condom may still spread an infection if the condom does not fully cover the infected area. For example, some infections such as pubic lice, scabies, the genital wart virus and the herpes virus are spread by close skin-to-skin contact. Condoms provide some protection against these STDs, but not full protection.
• A condom may break, particularly if it has not been stored properly or the right lubricant has not been used. This is why you should always use water-based lubricant. Oil-based lubricants are associated with condom breakage and should not be used. Do not expose a condom to prolonged heat. Don’t use a condom that is past its use-by date. Don’t try to re-apply a used condom – they are designed for one use only.

Please have this conversation with your teens. Regardless how hard it may be it could save their life.

Teen Dating Violence

June 6, 2016

Teen Dating Violence is defined as the physical, sexual, psychological, or emotional violence within a dating relationship, including stalking. It can occur in person or electronically and might occur between a current or former dating partner.

Dating violence is widespread with serious long-term and short-term effects. Many teens do not report it because they are afraid to tell friends and family. A 2011 CDC nationwide survey found that 23% o...f females and 14% of males who ever experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age. A 2013 survey found approximately 10% of high school students reported physical victimization and 10% reported sexual victimization from a dating partner in the 12 months before they were surveyed.

Consequences of dating violence: As teens develop emotionally, they are heavily influenced by experiences in their relationships. Healthy relationship behaviors can have a positive effect on a teen’s emotional development. Unhealthy, abusive, or violent relationships can have severe consequences and short- and long-term negative effects on a developing teen.

Why does dating violence happen?

Communicating with your partner, managing uncomfortable emotions like anger and jealousy, and treating others with respect are a few ways to keep relationships healthy and nonviolent. Teens receive messages about how to behave in relationships from peers, adults in their lives, and the media. All too often these examples suggest that violence in a relationship is normal, but violence is never acceptable. There are reasons why violence occurs.

Violence is related to certain risk factors. Risks of having unhealthy relationships increase for teens who —
•Believe that dating violence is acceptable
•Are depressed, anxious, or have other symptoms of trauma
•Display aggression towards peers or display other aggressive behaviors
•Use drugs or illegal substances
•Engage in early sexual activity and have multiple sexual partners
•Have a friend involved in dating violence
•Have conflicts with a partner
•Witness or experience violence in the home
Dating violence can be prevented when teens, families, organizations, and communities work together to implement effective prevention strategies

Bullying

May 26, 2016

Just wanted to have a brief conversation this morning on the topic of bullying. It used to be that boys were the face of bullying, not any more. Girls have taken on the role of bullying and it seems that it can be much worse. I was speaking to a lady just the other day and she shared with me that her daughter, who is in first grade is currently experiencing bullying among her peers. First grade.....they are starting way to young and we as a village need to step in.

In fact, girls can be just as ruthless especially when it comes to the type of bullying that is not as physical. Types of bullying like cyberbullying are often spearheaded by teen girls placing an attack on their peers verbally. However, harsh words, lies and rumors can be just as devastating to a child or teen as being physically attacked. Additional types of bullying may include physical bulling and hazing, cyber and verbal bullying as well as social alienation.

We have learned that bullying can be very serious. It can lead to depression and even suicide
Statistics show that one in four kids in the U.S. are bullied on a regular basis in school. In 2010 it was revealed that 160,000 kids miss school everyday for fear of being bullied. It is also stated that cyberbullying is on the rise and not decreasing anytime soon. Bullies are also targeting specific demographics such as homosexuals. Gay bullying statistics are often a huge contributing factor to the number of bullying incidents daily.

So as a community what are we going to do about this unfortunate trend? What are the conversations we should be having with our children if they are getting bullied or if they are the ones bullying? What more can the schools and authorities do to cut down on bullying? These are the questions that needs answers.

Issues Affecting Teen Girls

Issues that Affect Teen Girls

 

There are 10 common issues that affect teen girls everyday lives, they are:

·         Appearance

·         Education

·         Dating/Sex

·         Self Esteem

·         Peer Pressure

·         Bullying

·         Friendship

·         Drug and Alcohol use

·         Depression

·         Menstruation

In today’s Blog I’ll address a few of these issues that I feel are taking center stage in the lives of our teen girls.

Young girls today are under immense pressure to be ALL THAT. To be the prettiest, to have all the boys liking them, to have the longest hair, the best body and getting the most likes on social media. Between social media, reality shows and images they see of models in magazines no wonder they have issues navigating through their teenage years. Listed above are 10 common issues that teen girls face, I will speak on a few of them that I deem super important.

Appearance has a huge impact on how teen girls look at themselves. They see their favorite pop artist or reality TV star and they want to look just like them. From the long hair (often times it’s weave or wigs), big butts, tight fitting clothes, too much makeup and don’t forget the fake eyelashes. They feel they have to look like them in order to be popular or be liked by boys. This plays a huge role in their Self-Esteem which can be damaged trying to live up to this standard or it could help them explore and try different looks that will help shape their outer image. Now don’t get me wrong, wearing weave and makeup and wanting to look your best is absolutely fine, it’s when too much emphasis is put on this area and it affects other areas in her life negatively i.e unwanted attention by the opposite sex, focus taken off grades and her future as well as friends.

Dating/Sex is another common issue that young teens face. At this crucial stage in their life their hormones are raging and they are coming into their womanhood. Boys that once got on their nerves are now growing up to be somewhat attractive to them. They also look at their favorite teen celebrities like Kylie Jenner and Selena Gomez and see that they are dating and dating older men and they feel as if they can do it as well. At this stage in their lives parents like me would rather our teen girls concentrate on their education, building solid friendships and looking forward to their future; but Peer Pressure will have them emulating their friends and what they see on TV and in the magazines/tabloids. That’s why it is important that teens build solid healthy Friendships during this time, because peer pressure is so serious you want to make sure that your teen is hanging around girls that are respectful to their parent and themselves. Girls interested in getting good grades and participating in after school activities as well as activities outside of school to keep the busy and not focused on the wrong things.

Where dating gets scary for teens is that there is a rise in teen dating domestic violence which can lead to Depression, Drug and Alcohol abuse and teen pregnancy. Here are just a few important facts:

·         Roughly 1.5 million high school boys and girls in the U.S. admit to being intentionally hit or physically harmed in the last year by someone they are romantically involved with (Dating Abuse Statistics." www.loveisrespect.org). 

·         1 in 3 young people will be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship (Liz Claiborne Inc and The Family Fund. “Teen Dating Abuse 2009 Key Topline Findings.” http://nomore.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/teen_dating_abuse).

·         In the U.S., 25% of high school girls have been abused physically or sexually. Teen girls who are abused this way are 6 times more likely to become pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted infection (STI) (Decker M, Silverman J, Raj A. 2005. Dating Violence and Sexually Transmitted Disease/HIV Testing and Diagnosis Among Adolescent Females. Pediatrics. 116: 272-276).

·         Teens who suffer dating abuse are subject to long-term consequences like alcoholism, eating disorders, promiscuity, thoughts of suicide, and violent behavior (USA.gov. "Teen Dating Violence." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Accessed April 22, 2014).

These are all scary stats and facts that our teen girls are facing while trying to find their way through their teen years. In facing these issues our girls will need healthy relationships with other girls, with female family members and mentors that can guide them through as well as be there when advice is needed. We will need to be there not to judge their actions but to help them make good decisions that will affect the rest of their lives.

We have to let them know that they are beautiful without the superficial additives that society says is needed to be popular, successful and loved. That they are beautiful just the way God made them, that their outer beauty is nice but inner beauty, morals and character are just as important if not more.  We have to teach them that they have to love themselves first, that they have to be a priority to themselves before they can be loved and respected by anyone else.

Lastly they need to know that the only opinion that matters is theirs because at the end of the day they have to look in the mirror and be happy with the person they see.

Sincerely from a woman that suffered from most of these issues.

 

Lost Girls

Recent conversation has been of Robert Kelly aka R Kelly on the Soul Train awards that aired last Sunday night. I didn’t get to see his performance but from what I gather he performed a medley of backyard, bar b que jams that had everyone on their feet reminiscing.

I read several Facebook post condemning the people that enjoyed his performance, calling him a pedophile (which he is), a pervert and pure scum. The posters stated that if we (people in general) like and jam to R Kelly’s music then we are cosigning his pedophilia behavior.

It was said that R Kelly had molested/sexually violated more than a dozen young girls ranging in age from 13-16 years old (now to be fair in writing this piece said girls did consent to sexual activity with R Kelly but due to they were not at a legal age to consent, their consent is null and void. Plus R Kelly should have known better due to he was the adult). He had relationships with these girls, some lasted 1-2 years some were just sexual hookups. Some of the parents of these girls knew about the relationships and some even took money and gifts for their silence in the matter. With all that being said R Kelly when brought up on charges of child pornography was acquitted of said charges on June 13, 2008.

In talking about this whole situation I would like to focus on the girls, the lost girls of this horrible ordeal. Outside of R Kelly being a celebrity, a grown man/adult celebrity what would make a 13, 14 or even 15 year old girl engage in sexual activity with him or any other grown adult male? It is said that children are most vulnerable to sexual abuse between the ages of 7-13 years. We also know that lack of attention at home can be a contributing factor in these young girls seeking the approval and adoration of boys and men. I also recognize that older boys and men tend to prey on young girls that have low self-esteem, girls that have issues at home and girls that don’t have loving fathers or men present in their life.

I read in various post regarding the victims of R Kelly that they were fast/promiscuous and that they knew what they were doing in dealing with R Kelly (him being a grown man) because they lied about their age. That very well may be true but the one thing that that statement is missing is that these young girls lack the emotional intelligence to know that they are being used, taken advantage of. They don’t understand that this so called relationship/sexual encounter is based on a quid pro quo, you do something for me, sex and I’ll do something for you, in the R Kelly case it consisted of buying tennis shoes, giving them money and spending time with him.

We teach our young girls that sex before marriage is bad, a sin. We teach them that their worth is not in their body but in their brains but yet in still they continue to find their worth in the attention of the opposite sex. It’s not enough that mothers, aunts and family tells these girls to wait, don’t be so quick to grow up, enjoy your adolescence. Now days love ones have to compete with peer pressure, the likes of reality TV where most of the women are dressed provocatively, heads full of weave, fake inflated behinds and the women fighting over men. That’s what we as loving parents and family members have to compete with when trying to raise and nurture confident, self-loving young girls.  I believe we have to get back to the village mentality when it comes to raising our children. We need more mentors for our young girls, whether they are in our click of women that we associate with, our sorority or whatever the case may be. It is imperative that we snatch up a young woman that we see in need and rescue her from the ills that society and lack of love and attention has dealt her. We have to put these girls on the right path and show them that they are so much than sex, they are valuable and they are worth loving.

I speak so passionately about this subject because I was once a lost girl and I am thankful that there were women that didn’t give up on me and decided that I was worth saving.

Service to Others

Proverbs 11:25 The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself.

It is such a joy when you can give of your time, energy and possessions. I feel that I have been blessed beyond measure and as far as I'm concerned it only makes sense.

The above scripture states in laymen terms that God blesses those who give freely possessions, time and energy. When we give God supplies us with more to give hence "the liberal soul shall be made fat". Our possessions are given to us to help others, when we give we are no more slaves to them.

We are entering the season where this scripture hits home for a lot of people. We are in the giving season, most of us understand that we have been blessed beyond what we could have imagined and it's only fitting that we give and help the unfortunate. People that have hit hard times, a father that is working a couple jobs trying to make ends meet, a mother working and attending school, trying to make a better life for her and her children, a senior citizen that has come close to the end of his/her social security check and it's not even the end of the month yet.

This is why we give, to assist those that need that extra help.

Whether that extra help is mentoring, tutoring or just supplying that listening ear, service to others should be one of our top priorities. So while you're out shopping this holiday season, try to be a service to someone in need. It will do your heart and soul good.

Happy Holidays All

The Specials Ladies In My Life

Happy New Year’s ladies......

As I start this public journey of Encouraging and Empowering young girls and women....and some old. I sit back and think of all the women that have Encouraged and Empowered me along the way. The special women in my life......family, friends and Facebook friends alike have touched my life in some shape form or fashion. Your family of course are always the ones that make an impression on you, they try to give you advice and direction and hopefully you end up in the place that they dreamed for you. But strangers or nonfamily well a lot of times they don't know how much they have touched your life until you let them know. Well here I go, I want to let all the women in my life know how they have touched my life in whatever type of way....big or small.

 Aunt Millie, Aunt Tiya they were always there for me, when some had given up on me they never did. They never judged me for my mistakes; they always showed me love and taught me how to take care of myself and my babies. I will always be indebted to them for that, they loved me when I didn't love myself. They took care of me and my child when others should have....family isn't always biological. Aunt Velora, she has been a Godsend for me, she has always shown me how to be a lady, how to beautiful and classy all at the same time. She too never judged me...when others did and she continues to do so till this day. She has shown me that you can love God, love others as well as yourself while doing his work. She is that virtuous women to me.

 My girlfriends have been like sisters to me, we have laughed, cut up, cried and disagreed all at the same time. All while being sister friends.....for instance Yolanda, I absolutely love how she handles her business all while being free and loving life. She knows how to let down her hair and have a good time but when duty calls, she’s all about business. She takes care of everyone around her and asks for nothing in exchange. She is classy and beautiful, crazy and fun, she loves the Lord and it shows in how she takes care of everything and everyone……no questions asked. That's what I love about her. She surrounds herself with confident, beautiful, smart, classy women and it's a joy just being apart of a great bond.

 My best friend DiDi......now she's a crazy one, we have had some great times. We can talk for hours about everything or nothing at all, we can go out and have a good time or we cannot talk for days but when we do it's as if we just spoke minutes ago.  She has this IDGAF attitude sometimes and it's funny as crap....hey sometimes I wish I could have that same attitude, but I do know that she loves hard and I know that I am one of those people she loves. She is smart, tough and soft at the same time, but overall she has shown herself to be a good friend.

I have and know so many other women that I adore just as much. We may not talk often, we may not even see each other very often but I adore them all the same. Past and recent past coworkers, we have had great times, sharing personal stories and hurts, loves and loss’s, we’ve traveled together, partied together and had some great times. They have encouraged me and pushed me forward towards my dreams. These are the women that have touched my life….thank you.

 For my FB friends, you have added so much to my life by how you live yours. Katasha aka Kae Bee I love how you travel the world, loving life while handling your business. Traci Gibson, Leslie and Gina I love how you push your daughters to excellence all while teaching them to be ladies with class and morals. Latifah I love how you're not afraid to love......over and over again. That's a beautiful thing.

To Tonya you have made sure that your son Justin is not a product of the system. You as well as your husband and family have been there for him 100%, pushing him to excellence and making sure that he succeeds. A mothers love, there is none like it. Lisa aka Lil momma....I love how you love your adult children, they will always be your babies. No matter how old they get, no one and nothing can come between that.

 There are so many ladies that I think the world of (aunts, nieces, cousins, longtime friends, new friends), that have made and indelible impression on my life....big or small. Ladies that have Encourage and Empowered me, told me I can do anything and you will have my back when I do.  Thank you ladies for being a part of my life, you make me want to be better, you make me want to continue to be the best me. And while being the best me I will Encourage and Empower others to be their best selves.

 

Goodbye 2014

As 2014 nears the end I sit back and reflect on all everything that happen. There were some good and definitely some bad. We've had unjustified murders of black men and people of color by law enforcement. In terms of politics, President Obama has done a great job even in opposition of a house that refuses to work with him on almost anything. When unemployment was up, and the stock market was down and gas was nearly $4.00 they blamed POTUS. Now that unemployment is down, the stock market up and gas is under $2.00 you don't hear a peep from the opposition.

On a more personal note I was laid off of a job I had been at quite a while, I enjoyed it but I guess the Lord had another direction for me. My husband and I have gotten closer than ever and I couldn't be more happy about that. I also believe I have found my purpose, sometimes it even takes 42 years.......even though I had all the pieces to the puzzle I am just now putting them altogether and I am ever so grateful for that.

As I enter into 2015 in less than six hours I want to enter into it with purpose in my heart and mind. I want to know that I have what it takes to affect change in the lives of others in a positive way, in a way that will make a significant difference in young girls and women lives. My goal is to eliminate negative energy and foolishness, things and people that don't add value and purpose to my life. My goal is to be the best wife to my husband Chip Cooke as I can possibly be. I want to become more spiritually aware and work on my mind, body and soul. My goal in 2015 is to be the best ME possible. I am looking forward to nurturing great friendships, business relationships and adding value to everything and everyone that I come into contact with.

I am thankful for everything that 2014 has offered but I am eagerly awaiting on 2015 to make my mark on this world.

So long 2014.........

My Purpose

My Purpose Is to..........

Love
Mentor
Lead
Teach
Empower
Inspire

These are just a few of the characteristics' needed to change the climate of these dangerous times for people of color. I am ready to take up the charge and do my part in applying the above characteristics' to change the tone of injustice and inequality around me and my community. I know that I am not the only one that feels this way, so I implore those that feel as I do to help unite the people so we can get busy making changes.

We CANNOT, I repeat CANNOT continue down the path set forth. It's time for all the shucking and jiving to stop, it's time for us to stop going about our day as if it's any other day. We are in a time that is requiring all of us to set our differences aside, UNITE and work together for the betterment of our race or we'll be going backwards and will be there in no time.

We have got to get it together people before it's too late, what are we waiting for? They are killing our boys and men at alarming rates with no consequences. What will it take for us to put down the misogynistic music, turn off the destructive images that are forming the minds of our young and old adults. It is not a coincidence that every other channel has images of black and brown people acting a fool, degrading themselves, men degrading women. It's not just entertainment, it's planned and we have fell for the trick.

We are smarter than this, we are an intelligent people. Let's start acting like it.

John Legends op-ed, Billboard magazine

Below is the op-ed John Legend wrote for Billboard magazine where he breaks down the effects of structural racism, the wealth gap, voting restrictions and the criminal justice system. Very well written and something that needed to be said by a celebrity/entertainer

When Common and I wrote the song "Glory" for the stunning new film Selma, we drew inspiration from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his contemporaries who strived and sacrificed to achieve racial equality in the face of seemingly hopeless odds. As I watched the final version of Selma, I did so with the backdrop of the streets of many of our major cities filled with protesters, crying out for justice after yet another unarmed black person's life was taken by the police with impunity. After the events of the past few weeks, in Ferguson, Mo.; Staten Island; Phoenix; and Cleveland, things feel eerily the same. While it is important to recognize and acknowledge racial progress through the years, it is also clear that we are far from King's dream of equality and justice for all.

Slavery ended 150 years ago. The most egregious elements of Jim Crow were deemed illegal 50 years ago. But the problems of structural racism are old and ongoing. We still have a huge wealth gap rooted in decades of job, wage and housing discrimination. Voting restrictions that disproportionately affect the poor, minorities and youth are in place and growing. A persistent gap between black and white student achievement points to an education system that fails to provide a ladder of opportunity for everyone. African-American communities are being crushed by a criminal justice system that over-polices us, over-arrests us, over-incarcerates us and disproportionately takes the lives of our unarmed youth because of the simple fact that our skin, our blackness, conjures the myth of a hyper-violent negro.

I did an album with The Roots in 2010 called Wake Up! We wanted to use music to encourage young people who were politicized by the election of President Barack Obama to continue mobilizing. We covered songs from the 1960s and '70s by artists like Nina Simone and Curtis Mayfield as inspiration and a blueprint. They marched. They wrote songs. They met with political leaders. They provided financial support. They risked arrest.

Today, I am part of a generation of artists who benefit from unprecedented access to our fans. Tools like Twitter and Facebook act as a megaphone, allowing us to speak directly and powerfully to millions of people. Yet our actions, or lack thereof, speak louder: 140 characters cannot excuse us of our obligation to stand up, sit in or march forward.

Obama recently told the young activists gathered in the Oval Office to "think big, but go gradual." His words reminded me of President Lyndon B. Johnson's reluctance to tackle voting rights, as depicted in Selma. Despite Johnson's qualms, civil rights activists refused to wait for a more convenient political time. They took to the streets and used grass-roots organization and the moral force of their argument to create better conditions so the legislation could pass. We can’t wait for gradual and incremental change. Our government is a democracy, by the people and for the people. It is time for the people to wake up, stand up and demand change.

What are your thoughts?

 

Addicted

So I was sitting here this morning going through my emails and receive one from my husband. "Babe your boots will be here by Friday", now anyone that knows me knows I'm addicted to shoes. I love the way they look, feel, and smell. I love how it can transform a simple pair of jeans and white tee or tank into a chic ensemble.

Needless to say I was very excited. I know my addiction is not an anomaly due to most women I know have the same addiction if not two or three. Some have a love for handbags, they can spend upwards of $3000 for one. I totally could not do that but hey......shoes are my thing. Some spend crazy cash on their hair, I've recently started experimenting with sew ins and although I love how they look.........they itch like CRAZY. Out of the two I've gotten the longest I had one in was a month, but shoes. Man I love them something terrible, I prefer heels the higher the better (the heel height usually doesn't exceed 6 inches). I love expensive shoes and not so expensive, as long as they don't look cheap I'm cool, LOL.

My husband sometimes complains that I have too many shoes, even though he will buy them for me. For some odd reason he thinks I have more shoes than any other woman in the world, we all know that that's not true. But he knows that I enjoy them and when I'm happy.....he's happy.

So in my quest to share my absolute love of shoes, please share your absolute love. Whether it be shoes, handbags, weaves or whatever. We all have an addiction

NO INDICTMENT...........THEY DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT US!

The current topic today is NO INDICTMENT for the NYC cop that used the ILLEGAL choke hold to kill Eric Garner.......are we surprised? No, we are not surprised but considering we are supposed to be living in the land of the free and home of the brave, regardless of race you would think that we could get a little justice........NOT SO. And with this new hash tag #crimingwhilewhite it seems as if black folk are the only ones at the receiving end of police brutality.

It also amazes me of the responses I see on Facebook telling black folk to get over it, justice has been serve (in the case of the non-indictment of Darren Wilson in the murder of Mike Brown) or I wish we could all just get along. We in your perfect non-police harassing world that's fine for you but it doesn't work for us. See I notice that people don't want to face the stark reality that there is a mission to kill and incarcerate that black man at any cost.......so it seems. And we can't just easily get over it.

Let's reverse the rolls (as Matthew McConaghey did in A Time To Kill) so white folk are the ones being harassed, killed and brutally murdered by black cops. What would you be thinking or do if you saw a black cop beating up a elderly, defenseless white woman on the side of the road. Or how about a black cop pull over a family of white people and began shooting in there car, or how about this one a black cop continuously stating that he is threatened by white males. What would be your response? Because as history has shown us the white man has always been the aggressor when it comes to violence, since the beginning of time......if you wish to objectively look at history.

My point is this, none of what is going is justice, it is out right murder and it seems that law enforcement is backed by politicians and the BS laws in place. If they're even following the laws, in which they broke the law using the chokehold on Eric Garner.

So........what is the solution? What are we going to do about all this injustice against the black man, the black family? We need leaders and solutions, what are we gonna do y'all?

Enlightened........Malcolm X

So I just finished reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X. This book has opened my eyes in so many ways and confirmed I am not wrong in my thinking of race relations or the lack there of here in America.

I find that these words he spoke in the 60's are so relevant today that it's scary. One thing I am learning and ran across in this biography is that in order for us to be on an equal playing field with our oppressors is for us to work together as one unit and stop looking for validation from them. Some of us are warriors, we all can't be warriors, some of us are meek in our approach to equality, with talents beyond the battlefield. What I am saying is don't discount the persons loyalty to the cause because it doesn't resembles yours. We all have our role in this fight, as Malcolm X once said " Don't be in such a hurry to condemn a person because he doesn't do what you do, or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today". We have got to put our petty differences aside if we want to win this war, and I refuse to think that the tables are already set with us defeated. As I've stated many times we are going to have to be our OWN leaders and stop waiting on some great hope to come to rescue us. We are more than capable of coming together, we did it once and although we have more damning distractions I will not believe that we can't do it again.

We are a more enlightened people, the scales have been removed and we are sick and tired of the status quo. We have to stand for something or we'll fall for anything. Let's get to work.

Sonya Cooke

Can't Please Everybody

Presidents Obama's response, or lack thereof: Michael Brown vs. Robin Williams......RIP

I'm scrolling through my news feed and I see a lot of conscious black folk bashin POTUS for not speaking on the death of Michael Brown but speaking about the death of Robin Williams. I agree with the outrage but what is bashin President Obama doing to solve the problem? I'm reading he's a coon, he doesn't care about black folks and he couldn't possibly understand what we as black folk go through cause he wasn't raised black or by black folk. NEWS FLASH........have you not seen or heard how they've been giving him the blues since he got in office? When he spoke on the Trayvon Martin travesty did people not see and hear the backlash that he got? Hey if anyone has an issue with the President please go to Washington and try and do a better job. I honestly believe he is trying to do his absolute best considering all the obstacles that congress puts before him. Hell they're currently trying to impeach him now for exercising his rights re: executive orders. So as I've stated, if you feel he is failing the black community, or you feel he's not black enough please go to Washington and do a better job.

What say you?

The Help

Good morning bloggers, It's been a while and I'm sorry for the delay but I have just finished reading a really good book and I would like to share it with you all and get some feedback.

I just finished reading a book called "the Help" by Kathryn Stockett. The story takes place in Jackson Mississippi 1962....now you know it's gonna be a mess, there are three main characters, Aibeleen a black maid, Minny a black maid who is feisty as she want to be and Eugenia aka Skeeter. There are also several other supporting characters, Hilly Holbrook, she needs a good tongue lashing, Elizabeth Leefolt, she needs her own brain, Celia Foote, a brainless tart but sweet, and Ms. Phelan, Skeeters momma and Mae Mobley, a littly white girl that Aibeleen takes care of. The book in short is about three women who unconsiously set out to change the way things are done in Mississippi.

Reading this bbok made me wonder how would I react to the mess that was going on down there in Mississippi if I had to live in that kind of situation, we or I often say what we would or would not do or put up with back in the day, I guess I would be a Minny Jackson. She never held her tongue and as a result she was always looking for a job and thank God she was never hurt or put in jail for it, although she was abused by her husband Leroy. I wonder why she wouldn't stand up to him? And Aibeleen......sweet Aibeleen, she was the reason for Minny, she was the good maid that did what she was told and loved the children she took care of. Tried to show them the love they weren't getting form their momma's but also tried to show them the good in themselves. Now Ms. Hilly she got what she deserved from Minny and good for her, she was the witch of the story and she deserved more then she got but I guess the author wanted the story to be somewhat similar to the times.

Well I don't want to give to much of the story away but I just wanted to share just a tab bit with you and hope that you will go out a read it. I am so thankful that God choose me to put me right here in this time period cause Lord knows I would be dead or in jail if I had to deal with some of the mess and treatment that these and other women had to endure, and even though this book is fiction there are women all over that have had to deal with this kind of non sense.

Could you handle this type of situation, could you endure the inhumane treatment from another human being that thought they were superior over you.....tell me your thoughts.

Until next time...........

Fourth of July weekend fun and relaxation

What's up bloggers.......

How was your 4th of July weekend......the fireworks will be starting soon bringing this day to a close. While I wait for you to tell me about yours, I'll tell you about mine.

My weekend started out with TGIF, thank God for friday. For some reason the day went longer than usual but that's what usually happens when we have a four day weekend. The day started out good but by the time 3 o clock rolled around here came the drama. Now Fridays are the day the refrigerator get's cleaned out at my job, and don't you know that one of the ladies cleaning the frige decided to go inside my bag and throw away my lunch meat, smoked turkey at that. Now you know I was hot, needless to say it got worked out and I will be receiving some fresh smoked turkey on Tuesday morning. Friday evening was relaxing, left work and went and had a fill and pedi at ABC Nails....Julie is great, check her out sometime. Saturday I went to hang with some girlsfriends at one on there daughters 3rd birthday party....little miss Dyllan is too cute and the theme was Princess Tiana, very cute and she had some nice gifts which I'm sure she will enjoy.

Sunday came and I received a great word from God from my very own Bishop Grindstead, Ephesians 1:7-10.... the message was "The Unraveling of Mystery......the BOMB! Later on my husband and I went by my girl Yolanda's home for a 4th of July barbecue and swimming, had a ball there as well, hanging with friends and cutting up. As I wrap up the weekend with rest and relaxation on Monday with movies and good food.....and a few cocktails, I hope everyone had a good weekend too. With food, fun and fellowship along with friends and family.

Tell  me about your weekend!

Corruption in Illinois-Blagojevich re-indicted for same crime

Danyel, per Chicago Breaking News Center on April 16th, 2010 Blagojevich was indicted on 16 counts which included racketeering and conspiracy. The revised indictment didn't allege any new wrongdoing by Blagojevich but included 8 new counts that do not rely on honest services fraud, the new indictment includes racketeering, attempted extortion, bribery, conspiracy to commit bribery and conspiracy to commit extortion.

Sheldon Sorosky, one of Blagojevich attorney's states that the new indictment containes the "same false charges realleged under different theories". Sorosky also speculated that the prosecuters sought a new indictment against Blagojevich due to they were afraid the U.S. Supreme Court would imminently declare the honest services law unconstitutional. So there you have it, I know his attorney's wish the allegations were false now that he has been convicted....oh well.

Corruption in Illinois

Ok bloggers this is what I want to know. Why do elected officials think that they can do as they please and there is no consequence to their actions. Case in point, Ex Governor Rob Blagojevich was convicted of trying to sell or Trade Obama’s Old Senate Seat....who does that? A jury in Chicago on Monday convicted the former governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, of nearly all the corruption charges against him, including trying to sell or trade the Senate seat once held by President Barack Obama.

It took the jurors nine days of deliberating to come to a verdict which was released on Monday.
Blagojevich had faced 20 charges, including the Senate seat accusation and that he schemed to shake down executives for campaign donations.
He testified for seven days, denying wrongdoing. Prosecutors said he lied and the proof was on F.B.I. wiretaps. Now is he crazy or what.......give me your thoughts on this foolishness.